January 15th, 2019 is a day in history that will be burned into my memory as long as I live. It was a normal Saturday, home with my guys that didn't stay normal very long.
A little back story. My husband, James had been wanting to remove some tree stumps from the backyard and decided to burn them out. It was quite a lengthy process, but he was determined to get rid of them. There was a big pine stump that he had been tending to on and off for about a week. Most of the week the fire was big, so our kids were very aware to stay away from it. On this last day the fire was just a pile of hot coals. James had our three older boys outside. They played while he was raking the pile of coals and making sure the last pieces of the stump had been burned. He turned around for just a moment to rest his rake against the house and our sweet two year old ventured over near the pit of coals, tripped and fell in. James turned around just in time to see him land with his hands down in the coals. He ran over, pulled him out, and immediately saw that Isaac was very badly burned. He picked him up and carried him inside to run cold water over his hands. During the time this happened I had run out for groceries. I walked in to Isaac being held over the sink crying. James as calmly as possible explained everything to me, but it wasn't until I walked over and saw his hands that I understood the severity of what had happened.
This moment started a journey for our family. A journey of deep pain, lots of tears, broken moments, and at then end of it all a stronger family and deeper faith.
I called a dear friend to come watch our other children, so we could take Isaac to the Emergency Room. While we waited for her to come, James felt a strong urgency to pray for complete healing over Isaac's hands. I honestly didn't have the strength, peace of mind, or faith to pray well in this moment. I was angry at the Lord for allowing such a terrible thing to happen to my baby. James prayed so fervently with more faith than I have ever seen in him. The immediate healing didn't come, but I was grateful that we did wait to take Isaac to the ER. He calmed down immensely and the hospital staff were able to work with him much easier than if we had gone right away. At the ER they gave us an antibacterial ointment to put on his hands and extra dressing to keep them wrapped until Monday, when we could take him to the burn clinic.
The time finally arrived for Isaac to go back and the doctor and other staff were so very kind to us. They allowed James to go back with them just until Isaac had fallen asleep. If you've never experienced leaving your toddler in the hands of a physician, nurses, and an anesthesiologist, I hope you never do. If you have, then you know how difficult a moment like this was for us. The surgery didn't take long, but what happened following the surgery seemed like an eternity. Isaac came back to us being wheeled in on a small bed with cords in every which direction. There were so many people in the room and my baby was screaming, with his arms lifted up in the air, kicking and shaking his little body. He hadn't come completely out of sedation and was in what they called an in between state. We tried to calm him from the bed, but it didn't help. They allowed James to pick him up and continued to watch his vitals on a monitor as we waited for him to come completely back to us. The screaming and fighting lasted about 30 minutes. Once Isaac realized he was in daddy's arms he calmed down and just whimpered.
We waited another 30 minutes and then they allowed us to take him home. After a long day we were so very grateful that Isaac passed out and slept the entire way home. He also slept comfortably in our bed for most of the night. Switching between Tylenol and Ibuprofen also seemed to calm a good bit of the pain he was feeling.
The following days were met with a lot of cuddles, ice cream, and movies. Again James amazed me with his willingness to let go of everything and focus on our family. Isaac wasn't able to do anything for himself and didn't want to be alone at all. Every feeding, every bathroom break, middle of the night pain wake ups. It honestly felt like we just brought home a newborn. The first week James and I were rock solid and remained a team focused on taking care of our children. A week after the surgery we went back to the clinic to have the wounds checked on. After looking everything over the doctor explained to us that if the cadaver skin didn't release within ten days of being put on, they would have to rip it off and possible need to do skin grafting. They were also okay with Isaac being awake for the removal process, as James wasn't okay with the idea of sedation if it wasn't absolutely necessary.
The next few days are where things got very rocky between James and I. The sound of Isaac screaming and crying during our first bandage removal was more than I could bear. We both thought the worst of it was over and the news of what might be ahead broke me. I've always promised myself that I would stay in the room and stand with my children through any kind of pain. They would always remember that mom was there with them strong as a rock, so I knew I had to be in the room. I began to get angry at James for not allowing them to sedate Isaac, so he wouldn't feel the pain. I pushed him away and also pushed God away. In my mind something like this should have never happened to someone so little and they both allowed it to happen. Now there was more pain that could be avoided and James was standing in the way. As we waited for our next appointment, I argued quite a bit with my husband and the Lord. Amazingly, God still talked with me while I yelled at him. He explained to me that this was a time for me to submit to my husband and trust him. Nothing in me wanted to, but I obeyed the Lord. The day of the appointment we made sure not to feed Isaac just in case he needed to be sedated for skin grafting. We arrived as early as possible and the nurses gave us a closed room to remove the outer bandages on Isaac's hands. James held Isaac on the clinic bed and I sat out of the way right where Isaac could see my face. The doctor came in and discussed a couple of things with us and then proceeded to remove the cadaver skin. It was so much quicker than I thought. Isaac did scream and there was quite a bit of bleeding, but it was over. He checked the wounds and decided his hands would continue to heal without skin grafting. We just needed to keep them wrapped in silver dressing and an outer bandage for a few more weeks.And breath. I could finally feel breath filling my lungs. We were through the worst of it and there wasn't anymore intense pain my boy had to experience. We took him home and continued to care for him. I did notice one area that wasn't healing and decided to use a homemade ointment to help it along. Within a couple of days it finally scabbed over. We went back to the clinic a few more times to check on things and learn about long term care, as it took about a year for his hands to be fully healed. Lots of lotion, compression gloves, and minimal sun exposure was needed to help avoid heavy scarring and possible laser surgery. I'm so very grateful to say Isaac's hands are all healed. There is a little bit of scarring on his left hand, but it hasn't stopped him from chasing adventure. He also hasn't shown any signs of being afraid of fire.
Although this is something I hope to never experience again, I'm grateful for what it grew inside of me. My faith and my marriage are stronger because of it. The Lord allowed me to let it all out. He never walked out of the room and he never yelled back. He saw all of it and walked with us through it. I believe in every moment he was holding each of us. He used this very painful experience to create a more beautiful us.
(Below are pictures of Isaac's hands.)
 |
| 24 hours after burn |
 |
| One week with cadaver skin |
 |
| 2 weeks after burn |
 |
| January 2020 |
No comments:
Post a Comment